I could really use some words of wisdom or help if anyone may be going through what I am or has gone through something similar? I am engaged to someone that does not seem to care about things in general and does not seem to respect me or my feelings. Not sure how else to describe it

Taken from:
Engaged and Frustrated

Post written by Blended Family columnist Melissa Gorzelanczyk of

Very sorry to start with such a long story…Married for eight years, separated three years ago for safety issues with husband who was verbally, emotionally abusive and eventually became physically abusive…2nd marrriage for both of us I brought three teenagers into the marriage and now have been blessed with two beautiful grandchildren. Husband never had children of his own, verbally and emotionally abusive past from his own childhood. But conflict arose almost immediately with adult sons (Alpha male) controlling etc, over the years escalating into physical confrontations with adult sons who at various times for financial reasons have had to “live back at home” for periods of time

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Seeking christian perspective on separated contemplating divorce…

I have responded to a prior post about Tough Love, and am now writing for some input of my situation: I have been separated for 3 months now; my husband has struggled with deception and pornography/masturbation most of his 50 years.

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Pornography, Separation and Spiritual Protection

Moving on after a very long three/four months, some of which I don’t even remember. I did everything I possibly could to save our marriage, it seems my Wonderful Heavenly Father has decided to answer my prayers “NO”, in that case, I anticipate the day when I thank Him for that much like I thank Him now for the blessing of this trajedy. [original post here] http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/22847?tstart=10 Most of the seperation memories are fading, sometimes being replaced with occasional memories of the ‘mental breakdown’ I believe are the (primary) reasons for the marriage breakdown.

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Also Moving On…

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You have potentially heard tons of guidance regarding how to save marriage from divorce. You know, the usual stuff — communicate, have alone time, get support from family, search for a advisor. Because if you are serious about needing to save wedding from divorce, there’s really just one thing you must have. Before we touch on this, consider the environment we're in today. Everywhere you turn, it’s sex, sex and more sex. If you have not figured it out yet, the fundamental message is it’s ok to have sex with anybody, whether you are married or not. After all it’s so straightforward to. Well, this is the core problem that is causing 50% of all weddings to end in divorce.

Wedding is simply not significant enough any more to make some effort to save it. There’s a simple way out. To get to the point, the single thing you want to save your marriage and avoid divorce is the desire to do so. Without this desire, commitment, call it what you want, no marriage will survive. So if you need to keep your marriage alive, first have the heart to want to do so. Once that want or commitment is there, everything else will flow.

You will want to sit to trounce things out, you are going to want to make changes or compromise, you may take action, get help if you want to, see a counselor if you have to. To save wedding from divorce, you just have to find the need to do so deep in your heart.

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