I’ve been following Harold Camping’s declaration that the world would end on May 21st.  It’s sad and I feel sorry for those who got caught up in it.  At the same time, though, it reminded me that we do not know how many days any of us have to live and there is wisdom in “staying current.”  By that I mean, have you forgiven those who have hurt or offended you?  Do those you love know that you love them?  Is there an important change you need to make in your life?  Is there anything you need to say or do?  Now is a good time.  Don’t put it off.  Stay Current.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. Eleanor Roosevelt

Be generous!  Lori <><

Source:Stay Current

I have a reputation.  I sort of knew that, but in conversation the other day I was pleasantly surprised by a friend’s words.  Some folks had been talking and it was mentioned that I was seen as “always kind.”  That blessed me because more than a decade ago that became a goal and I began to practice “being kind.”  (The more you do it, the better you get at it.)

In other circles it’s assumed that I’m good at being a sexual partner to my husband.  A number of years ago my husband and I started ministering to married couples and were one of the few ministries that would address sexual issues (a part of that was our story of building our marriage in the face of sexual struggles).  My husband and I work to keep our private life very private, but it’s pretty obvious that we are happy with each other.  Being good at sex (with my husband) is another area where I made goals.

I could go on, but the point is, working toward goals can effect great change in your life. Five years from now what kind of reputation do you want?  Ten years from now what do you want to be known for?  What do you want to do well? … start practicing now.

How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to? Anthony Robbins

LINKS TO BLOG POSTS THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS LAST WEEK:

I have a guest blog post on TheConfidentMom.com – When Martians Speak

I double dog dare you not to smile when you listen to this! – VIDEO: Kirk Franklin’s “I Smile”

Dendrochronology: Mind Reading … or not
Dirty Girls: Cleaning Up After the Elephants
Hot, Holy and Humorous: Nightie or Nudie?
Intimacy in Marriage: Sexual Positions in Your Marriage: Hey, I’m a Housewife, Not a Gymnast
Journey to Surrender: The Other “As If” and Wives Only Wednesdays
Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage: Learning to Say No
Marriage Gems: Arnold’s Last Marriage Lesson?
Married Life: It’s Moving Day!
One Flesh Marriage: The Power of a Praying Wife
She Knows Home & Garden: Clean and Organized in a Snap
Some Wise Guy Gal: 4 Keys to Marriage Enrichment
The Romantic Vineyard: Water into Wine – Proverbs 4
To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Wifey Wednesday: When Sex Doesn’t Feel That Great

Be generous! Lori <

photo: Euro © Wilfred Stanley Sussenbach | Dreamstime.com

Source:What’s in Your Reputation?

My husband built a stack of beds for our strawberries.  I’m sure he would live if I hadn’t noticed what he had done, but it was a sincere encouragement when I showed a little appreciation for his handwork.

Stay aware and look for opportunities to appreciate your husband’s handiwork.

Everyone wants to be appreciated. So if you appreciate someone, don’t keep it a secret. Mary Kay Ash

Be generous!  Lori <><

Source:Good Job!

Praying together with your husband – this is usually a tough one. One or both of you feel uncomfortable and it’s hard to find the time. I have a few suggestions.

1) Don’t feel like you have to pray out loud.  Just hug each other and pray.  If you want to toss out a topic, that’s fine too.

2) Pray short – just a sentence or two about each subject.  It’s not that hard to say what’s on your mind when you can state it simply.

3) If one of you is comfortable praying out loud and the other not, that’s fine.  Each pray in your own way.

4) If you’re stuck for prayer material, why not get a book of prayers and personalize them?

5) As to finding time, just grab each other for a moment when something comes up. “Hon, will you pray a moment with me about Johnny.  He’s got an important test this morning.”  I think bedtime is great because you are already snuggled up together and it’s not hard to talk to the Lord for a bit.  Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with falling asleep during prayer. (I always wonder if we look sweet to the Lord when we are sleeping in the same our sleeping children look sweet to us.)

6) Read a book about prayer together (read privately or take turns reading to each other) and talk about how you can practically do what you read.

7) If you’re married to an unbeliever, you might ask they are comfortable just holding you while you pray.  If they’re not comfortable, then respect that.  Perhaps get a prayer partner and make your spouse an ongoing prayer issue.

Be generous!  Lori <><

Source:Praying Together

A generous wife (thanks, Naomi!) shared an idea that I would like to pass on to y’all.  She is seeing a real change in her marriage because of one habit.

*****

It’s simply the habit of appreciation. Every night before bed we need to tell our partner something about them that we appreciate–something specific related to a characteristic they exhibited in something they did that day.

Now that we both feel appreciated, we are so much more willing to be inconvenienced and sacrificial with each other. The things that would be points of contention before are less bothersome and don’t turn into major blow-outs when we are both assured that we are appreciated by our partner.

*****

How simple is that and what a great tool to building intimacy and love.

Be generous!  Lori <><

Source:One Habit

If you wait until later in the evening to consider sex, it’s fairly likely that you won’t feel like it.  You’re busy all day with responsibilities and by the end of the day it’s hard to flip the switch and “be sexy.”  Instead, try doing little things off and on during the day to remind yourself that you are sexual and give yourself a chance at enjoying sex later with your husband.  Call, email or text you husband with a sexy comment (do be careful with this if he is at work, perhaps come up with some code words).  Take a couple of moments during the day to baby yourself and enjoy something sensual.  Rub on some of your favorite body lotion or sit and enjoy a cup of tea.  Make a point of remembering the last time you had and enjoyed sex (give yourself permission to be sexual) or think about the things you love about your husband.

My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms from the vineyards of En Gedi. Song of Songs 1:13-14  NIV

Be generous!  Lori <><

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®.
Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society.
Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

photo: pretty young woman putting on moisturizing lotion © Karen Struthers | Dreamstime.com

Source:Keep it Simmering

My husband beat me to this post, so I’ll just pass on what he wrote. (Change gender, apply to self.)

*****

“I’m glad you choose to see me the way you do. Very glad indeed.“

My bride and I were watching the TV show “Fringe” the other day, and Walter Bishop said the above to his son. We immediately stopped the DVD, grabbed paper, and replayed it till we got it written down correctly. Aside from the fact that we are always looking for “tip fodder” (as a friend called it), the statement stuck both of us deeply.

You may have figured out that I am all about choice. “I_choose” is the second most used post tag on this blog, and “her_choice” is in the top ten. Over the years, we have discovered that we can choose a great many things, and that choice has a massive power for both good and bad. The quote above is an example of this: we do in fact choose how we see others. We can see them working to be better, of we can focus on what we don’t like. We can choose to define them by their weaknesses, or we can choose to define them by their strengths. We can see their idiosyncrasies as an attempt to hurt us, or as an odd part of their wonderful whole.

Am I suggesting you lie to yourself about who your bride is? No, not at all. However, you have choices about how you deal with who she, choices about how you relate to her more difficult parts, and you can choose to focus on the “good” or on the “bad”. The bottom line is that how you see her now is a choice, or more accurately the result of a long series of choices. How do you choose to see her? Is it a good choice? Is it a choice that pleases the Lord?

*****

Be generous!  Lori <><

Source:You Can Choose

A generous wife (thanks, Amy!) nudged me for Father’s Day ideas.  In response, I’ve created a page on the website.  Please click on the link and add your ideas as a comment.

Father’s Day Ideas

I do have a link to a great site for holiday ideas.  This gal is waaaay creative and fun.  As we get closer to Father’s Day look for some great ideas from Julie.

Happy Home Fairy

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. Bill Cosby

Be generous!  Lori <><

Source:Father’s Day is Just Around the Corner

My husband and I had a rather chaotic morning.  After a bit we set down everything we were doing and took a walk to the post office.  The weather is just turning warm.  Bulbs are up everywhere.  Trees are beginning to bud out.  It was lovely.  We had the most restful walk, holding hands and talking about gardening and our new baby bunny.  We really needed that time of restfulness and spending it together was wonderful.

Look for opportunities of being “restful” with your husband.  After a long day have a leisurely meal.  Take a walk. Sit on the porch and hold hands.  Give each other shoulder rubs. Work in the garden together. Do whatever is relaxing and fun … together.

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. Ovid

Be generous!  Lori <><

photo: black bunny from Photos8.com

Source:Moments of Rest

It’s easy to cut back on the kissing after you get married and busy with life.  Do you remember how much you enjoyed kissing when you were dating, engaged and during early marriage?  Well, it can be even better with time.  Add more kissing to your day and vary the kind of kissing.  Soft, slow, long, short, french, playful, etc.

When I kiss you, I can taste your soul. Carrie Latet

Be generous!  Lori <><

photo: COUPLE KISSING © Fred Goldstein | Dreamstime.com

Source:Here a Kiss, There a Kiss