Im Extremely close with my girlfriend, ive known her for 5 years and during highschool while all of our friends fell by the way side we managed to become best friends to dating to a serious relationship. complete honesty really rare relationship. The problem is I smoke pot and have bad anxiety both contributing factors for paranoia which causes me to question everything. my grandfather is dying and my mom just kicked me out shes been treating me terribly after catering/taking care of her im 18. now living with the divorced dad. my girlfriends broken up with me once for the paranoia from pot 6 months ago . when we got back together after a 2 week break/ my clean up,she told me she had to because nothing else was motivating me enough to stop smoking…i just started getting really bad again with all the stress and she just broke up with me again tonight. 3 days ago i was really sick at her house and i had just smoked and it happened again. i told her it would never happen again and this time im done with weed for good…she knows i have to quit a month from now for a job and since yesterday ive been overly apologizing and done with pot but i mean apologizing eloborately about how i want it to go back to when we first started dating and today she seemed happy and i think she just wanted to move on and forget about it but i persisted how sorry i was and she broke up with me by saying the same thing as last time that she cant be an emotional punching bag for my anxiety/needs to be by her self..im done with pot but how do i get her back? right after she sent the long similar text i naturally freaked out because i love her and need her so i texted her and she said ive tried to see things your way please try to see mine. so i texted her that its fine your right im and **** and you dont deserve anything like this despite what im going through. i said maybe later in the future when i can be happy and you are too we can try again and be a great couple. thankyou for everything weve had a lot of fun and youre a wonderful person dont think anything less..i know people out their could care less about other peoples problems but i have like no friends shes my only friend and im hers.. we talk constantly and deeply we really love eachother..the first time she broke up with me i went straight to her strict protective dad and admitted i was smoking pot/paranoia and id hurt her feelings and i was questioning but her parents really like me and he was nice told me to probably just give her space..i cant lose her and ill never smoke or do this again. what do i do this time please??

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