Okay, you read and followed our other articles on how to get your Ex back and you applied them – and they worked!  Now what do you do?  This is an often asked question by those who have been successful in reconnecting with a partner.  This same question is often asked by people who plan to do things differently in an existing relationship.   While this second question is tied both to a recreation of a relationship or planned occurrence, the larger question remains – How best should one redefine a relationship?

An initial perspective is certainly in the offing here.  A relationship or recreated version of one presupposes that something is in need of change.   Before any real, serious changes in your relationship, you should sit with your partner – perhaps later if you are initiating this and need a preplan – and get a consensus of what they are, their relative priorities, and how best to effect their transformation from concept to reality.

You should make a serious effort to define what went – or is going – wrong.   This first step is crucial; without it there is little chance that the fix can work unless it is the right one.  Rethink the breakup or what got you to the point of recognition that something needed change.   Then you and your partner should list the things that you need in descending priority that you are not getting that you need to get from the relationship.   Both of you should then take your partner’s list and determine what would be required on your part to provide – or eliminate – every one of the issues on their list.   This then produces a revised-relationship surgery list for both partners.

You should review and discuss the items for understanding but without conflict or refusal.   Be sure that both parties understand what the other means by their defined needs or requirements.  Then you should do a mock execution or trial run – with each partner taking the smallest-challenge task and attempting to provide it.  This will both validate the strategy as workable and it will also produce positive results on both sides that are a reflection of success.   Review and refine the process and celebrate your successes.  While this might sound a bit clinical or overly structured, it has been shown to be the most effective strategy that engages men.  Men are much more easily enticed into a relationship surgery where the outcome is predictable and there are options for allowing them to have an equal degree of input.

If you are seriously trying to get ex back from the breakup where you both had unrealized but expressed changes in the relationship this scenario will help to win your ex back, and a thorough understanding of these techniques will help to get ex back.

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